Adventures in First Grade

So, I have decided to include several blogs throughout the semester documenting solely my experiences in the classroom. My first day in the classroom was last Monday, so I have so far been in the class 3 times. Can I just say those kids are awesome? I think I have finally found my calling... first grade! Let me just share some of the gems from my short time there so far. My first day there I was introducing myself. They had heard from the teacher that my name was Miss Kirchner. One girl asked, "Can we call you Miss C?" "Well, you can call me Miss K." "Oh! I thought it started with a C!" This goes on as she laughs at her own silliness. Then the questions started pouring in. They kept asking how old I was (I could hear them talking amongst themselves making guesses such as 15, 16, 17, or 18), but their teacher told them we don't ask adults those questions, especially ladies. I told them that I started college over 8 years ago! Their jaws dropped and their eyes got real big. "That's right! I started college before you were even born!" That was the craziest thing they had ever heard, especially since it meant I finished school and decided to go back to get another degree. They also asked me if I had a boyfriend, when was I going to get married, when was I going to be a parent, etc. So funny! I also told them I had a couple nephews their age and that I loved spending time with them. A little boy chimed in, "So you knew you'd love spending time with us!" Hehehe :) Later that day (yes, this is still the first day) I overheard one little boy during class telling someone at his table, "That's not nice. We don't call people annoying." "But my sister doesn't listen to me!" "That's still no reason to call her annoying." This is coming from a 6 year old. That kid is going places. After lunch I also had like 4 different kids come up and just give me hugs. 10 points for me!


The next day I was there the kids kept giving me stickers, lol. I had 4 different stickers on my sweater and put another one on my visitor badge. When it comes to actual instructional time, I've had a blast working with the reading group. Those kids are so smart and excited about what they do. They are working on researching animals and writing complete sentences about what they learn to put into a class book. While they were researching I had half a dozen kids crowd around me asking for help finding certain information or wanting me to show them on the map where their animal could be found. I loved every minute of it! Seriously, they keep you occupied and make you feel valued and useful. They make me feel like I don't need validation from adults anymore, they validate me plenty! I also got to do a read aloud with them at the end of the day. We read "How Deep is the Sea?", which is about a penguin who tries to find that out. I got to sit in the rocking chair with all these excited little first graders sitting around me on the floor. I had no nervousness or anxiety; I knew they weren't judging me and didn't need to feel embarrassed about how silly I decided to read the book. Sure they got a little loud sometimes and got distracted, but I'll take it!


The funny story on day 3 actually involved my teacher, Miss D., rather than myself. It was during the math class. Now, the math class is very small, only 10 students or so, and is mostly those struggling a little bit more (still bright as brass though). That day they were learning about measuring and were being introduced to using a ruler. Miss D. had a ruler in her hand (just one of the simple wooden ones) and in an attempt to get the attention of one particular little boy who tends to struggle with his attention span, she hit the ruler on the edge of the desk. That got his attention. Shortly after though we noticed he had his head down on his desk and wouldn't look up. The teacher asked if everything was ok and if he needed anything. He just shook his head so we figured we'd just give him a minute. Once the class was working on their assignment, Miss D. talked with this little boy to see what was the matter. He looked at her and it looked like he was about ready to cry. I could only see him pointing to her and saying something to which she responded, "Oh sweetie, did you think I was going to hit you with the ruler? I would never ever EVER do that!" She goes on to explain she was just trying to get his attention and she was sorry she scared him and she wouldn't do it again. It was a bit of a heart breaking moment. But what makes this ultimately adorable was what happened later in the day. While the kids are getting ready to go to music this little boy tells Miss D. he left something on her desk under the paper towel. She said she was excited to see the surprise when she got back from dropping them off at music. When she came back she saw it was a smiley face cookie he left for her. Even though his feelings were hurt he left her a cookie! I just thought that was so freaking cute. That's something I've always admired about kids, they don't hold grudges and they're generally quick to forgive.


That sums up my experiences with those kiddos so far. I also subbed for a 3rd grade class this morning, which was rather painful due to a ton of behavioral problems (but that's another story) and it just made me appreciate my little first graders that much more. I was subbing at the same school so I even went down during my lunch to pop in and say hi. They were getting ready for recess and I told them how awesome they were and how they behave better than some of the 3rd graders. They were so proud of themselves :) Anyway, here's looking forward to many more adventures!

Getting Warmer...

So my first semester of grad school is done and I'm on to the next semester. I did pretty well my first semester, so here's hoping to keep up the good work. I had a good experience working with the 5th/6th graders last semester. They were pretty funny kids. During science with the 5th graders one day the teacher was talking about Mono lake. One boy in class just went, "Hey, my sister had mono once!" It was freaking hilarious. The teacher did good at maintaining her composure; she's probably used to comments like that. I got to teach a a science lesson to 2 different 6th grade classes as well as an advanced math class for 6th graders. This semester I got my placement in a first grade classroom. Yay!! I'm thinking that's the grade I want to end up teaching, so I'm excited to have the chance to work in a 1st grade classroom. I'll also be submitting my preferences for student teaching in the fall. I'm hoping to stay in Bloomington; I don't really want to have a long commute. There are some places that are 30-45 minutes away. I've started looking for a month to month lease somewhere with a friend of mine in the branch. Once December comes and I finish my student teaching, I'm free! I don't have any actual plans yet on where I want to end up teaching. I know the midwest isn't exactly full of teaching jobs right now. I've looked at Maryland/D.C. and North Carolina. I've heard those are good places for beginning teachers. I also like the idea of the east coast a lot better than the west, even if there are more liberals, haha. I'm not gonna lie, I also like the idea of the D.C. area because from what I hear it's a good place for LDS young single adults. I think a lot of BYU students from the business school go out there. There aren't exactly a lot of dating opportunities here in Bloomington, but I figured as much when I moved out here. I'm working on getting my substitute teaching license right now so that I can at least work a little to bring in some income. I really hate money. School is expensive, I'll be happy when it's over (in the sense of me being the student). Before I went back to school I was kind of missing it, but being back in school I realize I was more specifically missing BYU. I really liked my experience there, not necessarily school in general. Well, the end is in sight. Once I get through this semester it'll just be one psychology class in the summer and then my student teaching in the fall. Crazy! This time last year I didn't even know I'd be going to grad school. Funny how life can change so quickly. I guess I always figured big life changes would take time, but this one to go to grad school was actually pretty fast. Guess that means it was meant to be. I think that's good enough for a quick update.

I don't know where to start, except at the beginning

It's definitely been a busy few months since I last posted. Dad and Stacey came out and helped me drive back to Ohio from Utah. Talk about exhausting, especially since I was already an emotional wreck. It was very similar to how I felt when I moved from Ohio to Utah. But now I'm in Bloomington, Indiana. That drive was a lot less stressful. Dad, Dave, and little Will helped me with that move. It's definitely pretty here, but it still hasn't "grown" on me like everyone says it will. Too many one way streets, which make me feel claustrophobic, and 4 way stops. And I swear, I haven't been to an area yet where the speed limit is over 30. Ridiculous. School started a couple weeks ago. I think it will be a really good program. We'll be assigned a teacher/school next month so we can begin getting our in class experience. There are only 16 of us in the program, and being full time we take all of our classes together. I like working with most of them. It is going to be a challenge though being back in the land of the "Gentiles". I can already tell I'm one of the few conservatives in the class. Just a couple days ago in my human diversity class we were doing this color personality test. I immediately knew I was gold since it's characteristics were organized, responsible, faithful, conservative views on love and marriage, etc. I was surprised there were 3 other girls in that one as well. That made me feel a little less alone. Until one of them was reading the qualities out loud and got to the one about marriage, stopped, and said "I just want to clarify that I don't agree with this at all." I shouldn't be surprised. What I was surprised about though was when I was talking to a friend of mine after institute about my class on Wednesday. See, in class we had someone come and talk about the legal issues in the classroom. The topic of homosexuality came out (discrimination) and that's when I could tell I was probably the only conservative. In class they're of the belief that you have to set aside your own beliefs and morals. Things like, reading books to your students with same sex parents rather than just the traditional mother and father. As you can guess, I obviously disagree. Anyway, I was telling this friend of mine (who is LDS) that I disagree with doing that. She didn't see the problem with it because "kids are going to be exposed to it anyway". She's also of the belief (as I am not) that sex education should be kept in schools, referring to things like safe sex and birth control because "kids will be exposed anyway". I feel it's the parent's responsibility to teach their kids those things, not the school system's. To argue with her though, I said "Well maybe we should legalize marijuana since people will do it anyway." She actually agreed that we should legalize it. I told her Christ wouldn't legalize it. Her response was, "Well, no, but we could tax it." Not even kidding. Here was an otherwise good, strong member of the church telling me that even though Christ would do something differently, we shouldn't follow for political reasons. I just don't understand that. I don't know about you, but I can't separate my personal, religious beliefs from what I think about the world. My religious beliefs make up who I am. Another example I'll take from the scriptures based on our Sunday school lesson today. We read in Alma about Moroni's title of liberty and how the Nephites went to war with the Lamanites to preserve their families, liberties, and freedom of religion. These were things that they were willing to shed blood over. They did not delight in the shedding of blood, but families and religion were more important. They had to stand up for what they believed in. They weren't going to let the Lamanites come in and tell them what to believe or how to worship. And the Lord blessed them for their faithfulness. Why is it any different for us today? Shouldn't we as faithful Latter Day Saints stand up for our belief in the family and our right to worship without letting the world tell us what to do? In Helaman's epistle to Moroni he stated, "And now they were determined to conquer in the place or die". They risked their lives to protect their families and their beliefs. If we truly believe the scriptures are meant for our day, why should it be any different for us? Anyway, to jump topic to something less passionate... I've been going to the YSA branch. I'd say there's probably about 50 people, so relatively small. Quite different from Provo wards. But I find that to be a good thing. I've made friends will different people in the branch and it's definitely not as cliquish as my previous singles wards have been. The church building is only like 2 minutes away, which is really nice. And we actually have our own institute building as well; also nice. The institute building is actually not far from the education building on campus where all my classes are, so I can just park there and walk without having to buy a stupid parking pass. We're studying the New Testament (Harmony of the Gospels) in institute. It's been pretty good. I've also started going to a class on Tuesday afternoons called Teachings of the current 1st presidency. I've only gone once, but it seems like a really good class. I don't know if I'll be able to go though after we get assigned classes to work in. So that's what's new with me. Just trying to adjust and figure things out. Just keep swimming, just keep swimming.

I Win!

Ladies and gentlemen, it looks like I'll be moving to Indiana this fall! Well, technically this summer. I received an email from the head professor at Bloomington giving me "unofficial" notification that the faculty has recommended me for admission into the Masters in Elementary Education program! So while technically it's not official yet, I think it's a pretty done deal. I'm finally going to get out of Utah! Now, I'm not gonna lie, my Utah life hasn't actually been that bad. I've had a lot of good times here. But it's still Utah, haha. I'll finally be moving back to the good ole Midwest. Now, I've gotta admit I'm still scared as heck. It's starting to sink in more and more that I'm leaving my friends and I'll have to start from scratch in Indiana. But, seeing as I've done that before I guess I can do it again. Besides, there's really only a handful of friends in Utah that I'd actually actively stay in touch with- the Jensens, Melanie, and Ben. I have other friends and people I'll talk to, but only a few strong ties. I'll still try to be social and make the most of the summer though. I'll probably be spending a lot of time at Seven Peaks, haha. I'm mostly just glad that things seem to finally be coming together. I remember trying to get into grad school for physiology and that just was not going to work out. Just thinking about it stressed me out and made me feel like I'd never be good at it and I'd be the dumbest person in the program. But with this one, I actually think I can do just as well as anybody else. People I've talked to about me becoming a teacher all think I'd be a good teacher. And I think they genuinely mean it, lol. I get excited about the idea every time on my way to work when I drive by the elementary school. I've had a lot of crazy ideas for my life, but this one actually seems to fit. It's taken longer than expected and a lot of trial and error to figure it out, but hey, better late than never right?

Keep Moving Forward

So I finally took my Praxis exam on Saturday. Yay! I actually feel pretty good about it. I already know my scores for the Reading/Math portions- 183/184. Indiana was asking for like a 172/174 so I'm at least safe there. The writing was split into two parts, multiple choice and essay. They grade them together though so it'll be about 3 weeks before I find out how I scored overall. When I was filling out what schools to send my scores to, I realized I only applied to one school, haha. I know that normally you should apply to a bunch of different schools, but I really couldn't find another school that offered what Indiana does; that is a Masters degree when you didn't get your Bachelor's in El Ed. I'm surprisingly not too worried though. I figure I got the impression to move in this direction, I did what I could, and if God wants me to do it He'll make sure I get in. No worries.
I took the test at the same place I took the GRE and man, have they gotten tight with security to make sure nobody cheats. I had to turn out my jacket and jean pockets, and pat my butt down so they could see I didn't have anything in my back pockets. Then they used a metal detector across my front and back. Probably because so many people nowadays are sketching notes onto metal slabs that they tie around their stomachs... or to make sure you don't have a cell phone.

So there you have it. One step closer to what I'm actually going to be doing with my life. My big brother Dave should be happy to know that he'll at least be in his career before me, haha :) Just for fun, I want to remember all the different careers paths I had considered at one point or another: lawyer, doctor (pediatrician), PA, University professor, cancer researcher, forensic scientist, librarian, HR rep, and now elementary teacher. I had even thought half heartedly about being a geneticist, clinical counselor, and museum curator. If you go back before college I had even cookier ideas like storm chaser. Everyone in jr. high wanted to be a storm chaser; I think that's when the movie Twister came out and we were learning about tornadoes... I've definitely been one to bounce around. Better that than getting stuck in a career I have no love for though. I suppose I'm a bit backwards since I typically don't like change and like things to stay simple, but I also don't like being stationary and feeling like I'm not progressing. I can't be the only one like that though, right?

Seriously?

Ok, so I'm gonna go on a little venting streak right now. Are you familiar with the sayings "Please" and "Thank you"? I mean seriously, I thought those were concepts taught as soon as a kid learned how to talk. Barney even has a song about it. I was taught to say please and thank you so you'd think other people have been too. It's really not that hard to do or remember. Especially for adults! It should be second nature to say please and thank you. I can understand kids may still be learning, but there comes a point where you should already know to say it. This venting comes because someone at work "asked", "Can you unlock the conference room?" No please. And after I did, no thank you. I'm even going to ignore that fact that technically she just asked me if I was able... We're talking about an adult here who can't even say please or thank you. If adults can't seem to follow through with the polite social norms, how can we expect kids to do so? Seriously, it seems hypocritical to me for adults to get away without saying please, but tell their kids they need to. I'm sorry, but it's just rude and rudeness is something I have a low tolerance for. I try to be a nice, helpful person but if people aren't showing me any amount of respect I'm less inclined to go out of my way any more than I have to.

Now, don't get me wrong, there are still a lot of people out there who still say please and thank you, who open doors, and will pick up something you've dropped. It just really irks me when the basics are forgotten. I'm not asking you to make a banner or a dramatic gesture; just say please. If the people I work with were kids, I wouldn't do anything for them until they said please. And after I helped them I'd go, "Now what do we say?" I get the feeling though that would cause more tension rather than relieve it... though it'd still be funny as heck.

Wait for it...

My application is submitted! Woohoo! I have finally finished my application to Indiana University in Bloomington to the Elementary Education licensure program. I asked my HR boss Marjolein and my old security boss Sterling to be my references since it's been a few years since I was in school (not that I was good at talking to professors then anyway...). What's funny is when I asked them if they'd write references for me both of them mentioned that our company has a place in Bloomington if I wanted to transfer and still have a job. Score! That location is only like 10 minutes away from campus too. Even though I may not end up doing HR afterall, I gotta admit that ModusLink has been good to me. I'm lucky to have gotten to work with such cool people. Granted there have been some wackos, but you find those anywhere :)

Oh, I realize I haven't written anything regarding my transition from a "maybe" to a "more certain". I guess it started last week when I was reading my scriptures. Sometimes I like to go up on campus and do my scripture study in the library, since I love the library. I was thinking about what I was going to do and as I was just bouncing around in my scriptures I keep finding ones like, "Did I not speak peace to your mind concerning the matter?" That reminded me of the time probably last summer when I was at the temple. I hadn't been thinking about my career but all of a sudden it had popped into my head that I should be a teacher. I had put that thought aside though when I got this HR job because it seemed like such a good opportunity. And it is, just not for me. I'm finally feeling a sense of clarity! I guess we'll see what happens :)

Now, I'm not sure if I'll get accepted for this fall or not, but I may move to Indiana in the fall anyway. I've decided there's not much left for me here. Brett and Janille are the only real friends I have left around here. All of my close friends are married. I've gotten everything I can out of Utah. I figure if I get accepted to IU, I'll move probably beginning/mid August. If not, maybe move there anyway in September/October. I'm just kinda seeing how things go. I'm trying to save up my money and figure out the easiest way to move out there. It's exciting and scary all at the same time. I'd definitely feel more at ease if I had a job lined up for me though :) Ahh, to move back to a place where trees are indigenous...


Indiana University in Bloomington





Second only to the great Ohio State!

Tra-la-la-la-la

Ok, so I've decided no grad school... again. I don't want to do it and I found an alternative route if I want to do HR anyway. My new boss, Marjolein, has been talking to me lately about how to get me moving forward in the HR department. She's the reason Marni became an HR manager and she helped Amy at the Spanish Fork location become a generalist. She's all about getting me involved in the HR world and helping with projects that involve some of the other HR managers at the other sites (Riverside, Miami, Raleigh, etc.). She wants to at least get my name out there. Yesterday she was talking to me about getting some funding for an HR class so I can eventually take the HR test to get my SPHR (Senior Professional) certification. That certification seems to be the most valuable thing to obtain for this field. It would pretty much guarantee me an HR job anywhere. I confess, I'm still not super into the whole HR stuff. Maybe when I got more involved that will change, but I don't know. Marjolein was asking me what things I would just love doing and getting involved in more, but I don't really love anything. I don't mind doing it, and it's a good job but I'm not all "Oh my dream job has finally come!". Oh well. Maybe a dream job doesn't exist and it's all make believe.

Going along with that, I'm still contemplating moving to Indiana at the end of the summer. I actually get excited about that prospect, which is weird because normally the thought of moving to a state where I don't know anyone would terrify me. Though I do have friends who have friends living in Bloomington, which is where I'd go. If I haven't mentioned it before Indiana University at Bloomington has a "graduate program" for students who already received their bachelor's degree but want to get their teaching license in elementary education. You take classes that help you prepare, you get to do student teaching, and then get your certification. It's the ideal program for someone like me. I figure I can go ahead and apply to the program and make the decision later (assuming I get accepted). Maybe I can get my HR certification this summer and have that as my backup plan and move to IN anyway :) Oh to be out of Utah... back to a place where fall is a real season and trees go in their natural habitat. And it's only 3 hrs away from Dayton :) Not that it's a sure possibility, but ModusLink actually has a facility in Bloomington; it's only like 10 minutes from campus. Wouldn't that be the ideal if I could just transfer facilities, still have a job, and be in the perfect location? I don't hear much about that location though, so I don't think there's much going on there.

Oh, I've also started working at the Provo temple! I work Wednesday nights after work, so it makes for a long day, but it's been really good. I've been learning a lot. The ladies I'm around are pretty cool. Everyone's been super nice and very willing to help me and teach me the ropes. At least there's one thing I know I'm doing right, lol. Well, that's my update.

Oh, and this was funny-

So... What's New?

So, I see it's been a while since I've written anything. I can't decide if that's because I'm really lazy, or really busy. Last month I got a new job. I'm with the same company but I work up in Orem now as an HR Admin/receptionist. I wasn't looking for a new job, but I got an email about the job opening and was told I should apply, so I did. I interviewed with Marni, the HR manager, and a couple days later was offered the job. I'm not gonna lie, I was kinda freaking out about it. I mean, my job in the security office wasn't always the most exciting but I still became attached to a lot of the people I worked with and it was comfortable. I knew the ins and outs and how to do my job. But I realized it would've been stupid not to take the new job since it paid more, offered great benefits, and would give me better experience in the business field. It was hard my last day at Spanish Fork. I was pretty lucky to have gotten to work with a lot of those people. Good times. I'm adjusting ok though to the new job. There are nice people here too. I really like my boss, Marni. She's been great about helping me transition. Unfortunately though, next week is her last week since she found another job. Isn't that funny? She's not too much older than me so I think she's just moving on with her career. But it's a good job. Still not one I'd do the rest of my life, but I'm moving up. If I decide to get my MBA (never thought I'd even consider that...) the company will pay up to $2000 a year towards my tuition. I still don't know if business suits me, but it's almost like I might as well get my MBA if they're gonna help pay for it. Couldn't hurt. If I did decide to get it, I'd probably get it in HR, seeing as that's what my experience will be for. I think it'll be better when I get a little more settled. so that's the update in the job field.
I also got to go to California last month for a few days. I stayed at my friend Scott's parent's house in Riverside and we got to go to Disneyland/CA Adventures. I was sick pretty much the whole time, but it was still good. The Indiana Jones ride is still one of my favorites. The new Star Tours ride was pretty awesome too. I also surprisingly enjoyed Space Mountain. I still don't like the Tower of Terror. How can people enjoy plummeting hundreds of feet to the Earth while strapped to a seat even though your butt is still lifting off the seat and you're only still there because of your seatbelt? Not cool. I refused to look out when you're lifted to the top floor and they open the doors so you can see out over the whole park. I looked out last time and was not happy. People are crazy. We also got to see World of Color, which is awesome as always. It was funny cuz the show was at 8 or 9:15. It was 7:40 and we were debating if we should run over and catch the 8 or wait for the 9:15. We knew we weren't going to get good seats either way, so we decided to go ahead and run to make the 8 showing. We get there and we're standing near the pier and I was telling Scott it's at least better than when the Jensen's and I went the first time. As I said that one of the Disney workers came up to us and said he always carried a couple of extra fast passes... so he led us through the crowd to where the fast pass people were standing closer up. It was a pretty good spot. Scott looked around to see if we could get closer and so we started moving down closer to the water's edge. It looked like they had some areas blocked off in order to keep a pathway open so we asked another Disney worker about it. He said, "Yeah, but I think I have a couple spots open down here..." So we followed him down even closer! We were at the very front right as the show started. Pretty sweet deal! So, that was my California trip. I got out of Utah for a few days.
On a different note, I started dating someone (nothing serious) last month too. His name is Ben. You may recall him in previous blogs since we worked together at Spanish Fork. And no, we didn't do anything while we were working together! I never saw him outside of work until I was up here in Orem. We're only casually dating because he's still working on going back to church. Don't worry, I still have my standards, I will still get married in the temple. The fact of the matter is, he has a better heart and treats me better than other guys I've gone out with so I'm willing to put the relationship in a probationary period, if you will. Not much else to tell. In a nutshell I like being with him, I'm not planning a wedding, and I feel good about where we are right now. I figure ya'll want to know what's up in all aspects, so I told you, lol.
Hmmm, is there anything else I'm forgetting? I wouldn't be surprised. I can be so forgetful it's scary. Just the other day I was headed over to Janille's for our Christmas party and realized I forgot to get Brett's gift on my way home from work so I had to go get that. Then I get to Janille's and realized I forgot to bring the Christmas shows we were going to watch so I had to drive home and get those. So annoying. Oh well. This time next week I'll be back in the great Ohio. You know, I really don't know why I stay in Utah; I'm defintely a mid-western girl. Mountains just don't do it for me like forests and rolling hills. Well, now I'm just rambling. As is customary for me, I shall leave you with some entertaining quotes just for kicks.

“It has been said that the hardest job in the world is raising a child, but the people who say this have probably never worked at a comb factory or captured pirates on the high seas.”
― Lemony Snicket

“If loving someone is putting them in a strait jacket and kicking them down a flight of stairs, then yes, I have loved a few people.”
― Jarod Kintz

"An old friend will help you move. A good friend will help you move a dead body."
- Jim Hayes

"Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity."
-Albert Einstein

"If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made of meat?"
-Tom Snyder

I Won't Grow Up!

So, I'm sitting here just letting my thoughts wander, and I realized how much like a kid I still am. Allow me to list why:

-I have printed coloring book pages that I color sitting here at my desk.
-I have flown my spiderman kite at work during my lunch break over in the grassy area by the parking lot. And yes, people saw me and thought it was funny.
-I bring fruit snacks to work, as well as church. I recently got a few boxes including classic Disney, Toy Story 3, and Super Mario Brothers. Oh, and Batman.
-Just this morning I sat on the floor in our living room and watched Looney Tunes while I hate my cinnamon toast crunch for breakfast.
-I have an Alice in Wonderland teapot with a matching cup and saucer on my bookshelf in my room that I got at Disneyland last year.
-I liked riding Dumbo at Disneyland, though I grant the movie is kinda messed up.
-I like juice boxes and it's not uncommon for me to need help opening it. Especially if it's a Capri Sun.
-I'll spin around in circles in my chair occasionally at my desk, drawing odd looks sometimes. Though I think most people are used to me by now...


I'm sure there are other things, but these are the ones I thought of off hand. Is there anything wrong with that? I don't think so. It's like what Walt Disney said, "Too many people grow up. That’s the real trouble with the world, too many people grow up." I don't want to cause any trouble. So I will continue watching cartoons and eating fruit snacks.

It's not the first time I've been thrown out a window, and it won't be the last.

Ok, so apparently I was wrong in my last blog... Let's just say the interview with the guy at Wright State wasn't a good experience. You'd think that when they want an interview it's a good thing, right? Not so. The guy basically just told me I wasn't smart enough or good enough. He told me my grades weren't that good and neither was my GRE score. Why thank you, I felt my self-esteem was getting a little too high. So based on that experience, I'm anticipating a rejection letter. I also got a rejection letter from BYU, thus I am back in limbo. I should be used to being in limbo. I'm here so much I should buy a house. I don't know how much longer I can work here... I like the people, which is the most important thing, but the job itself is sooo mundane and boring. Well, it works for now.

So, now that I'm in limbo, I'm trying to look on the positive side and look at it as a fresh start, if you will. I'm considering abandoning the science field completely. I thought about going for my masters in library science. I could be a library curator or work in archives. I could be like the lady from National Treasure! I'll probably end up retaking the GRE anyway, hopefully doing better the next time around. My friend Brandon here at work tells me I should be a teacher of little people. Other people tell me (I think they're mostly joking...) I should get my MBA. Haha, yeah right. What do you think? Any suggestions for new career paths for me?

Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It is already tomorrow in Australia.

So, as I'm sure most of you know I've recently applied to grad school, particularly to BYU and Wright State. Now before you get all excited, know that I haven't heard back yet about being accepted or rejected. I have however received an email from Wright State telling me that a Dr. Ream of the Physiology/Neuroscience department wants to interview me sometime next week. For some reason that's all it took to get me to start freaking out. I mean, I've known that I might get rejected from both schools and that my life could take a turn into the great unknown. But I don't think I gave much thought to what would happen if I actually got accepted. You probably think that's ridiculous, but it's true. I put most of my energy into preparing myself for the worst and not thinking about what would happen if the worst didn't happen. Now, I don't mean to say that I already anticipated being rejected from both schools; I was hoping to get accepted. But I admit I've really been wanting to go to BYU. When I first was looking into grad school I wasn't really looking too seriously into BYU. I figured I had done that and now I'd go somewhere else. But this past semester I've been able to take anatomy up at BYU and I had forgotten how much I love it there. Yes, it's hard and I get stressed and worried, but I'm pretty sure I'd get that way no matter where I went to school. I just really love the feeling I get on campus, and fortunately for me I've had some really amazing professors. I've known a lot of people at BYU who don't particulary care for it there just because they haven't had the greatest professors. But I think I lucked out there. The professors in my area of interest tried to get us to think for ourselves and apply what we've learned in new situations and contexts. Obviously my experience wasn't all peaches and cream, but I'd still have to say it was pretty good.
So having said that about BYU, you know I've also applied to Wright State. Now, the benefits of going there would be an opportunity to return to the Ohio. That's where most of my family is. I would love to wake up and look out the window to see trees again rather than mountains. Don't get me wrong, the mountains are cool and everything, but I've gotten used to them. They don't really "do it" for me. My favorite places to walk around out here are usually by the temple and campus, where they actually have more trees and flowers. I miss seeing forests. And I would have more support there during football season...
So let's break it down...I'm gonna lists the pros and cons for both the possibility of going to either school.

BYU: Pros-environment, friends, professors. Cons- Utah, no family
Wright State: Pros- family, Ohio. Cons- no friends, have to start over

Let's talk about those cons for Wright State... that's the main purpose for this blog; so I can get my worries off my chest. Having to start my life over isn't necessarily a con persay, but it's definitely a difficulty. That's what scares me the most. Going to BYU would be comfortable; I know my way around, I know how things works, and I know a lot of people/friends. If I were to go to Wright State, I'd have to start from scratch. Yeah a lot of my friends from high school are still in Ohio, but people change a lot in 7 years. And I have no idea what the singles wards are like there. Frankly, it worries me a little. If I were to go to Ohio State I'd be a little less worried just because I think there are more members up in Columbus since the temple's there (oh... that's another + about BYU; the temple is just 5 minutes away). Who knows.

I know everything will works out the way it's supposed to, whether I go to BYU, Wright State, or if I get rejected by both and get thrown in limbo (again...). I just need to remember that what I think I may want isn't always necessarily what's best for me in the long run. That's not an easy thing to accept. As usual, I'm gonna end my blog with some pertinent quotes.

The most important thing is God's blessing and if you believe in God and you believe in yourself, you have nothing to worry about.
~Mohamed Al-Fayed

Today is the tomorrow we worried about yesterday.
~Author Unknown

And if you then go and do what He would have you do, your power to trust Him will grow, and in time you will be overwhelmed with gratitude to find that He has come to trust you.
~President Henry B. Eyring

It isn't as bad as you sometimes think it is. It all works out. Don't worry. I say that to myself every morning. It all works out in the end. Put your trust in God, and move forward with faith and confidence in the future.
~President Gordon B. Hinckley

Around here, however, we don’t look backwards for very long. We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we’re curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths.
~Walt Disney

A person should set his goals as early as he can and devote all his energy and talent to getting there. With enough effort, he may achieve it. Or he may find something that is even more rewarding. But in the end, no matter what the outcome, he will know he has been alive.
~Walt Disney

I'm THAT Awesome

So, I was just sitting at work thinking to myself, "Dang... I'm awesome!" And I wanted to make sure you all knew that as well. I hope though that by reading this you don't put yourself down (man... I'm so considerate!) because let's face it, it's not easy to be this awesome. I wouldn't want to put that kind of pressure on you. So, allow me to begin:

1. I'm ridiculously smart. I mean seriously... have you ever met such a clever wit? I didn't think so. I went to BYU and majored in Biology. Obviously, I'm smart. I can tell you about the different herpes viruses, how a baby develops in utero, and the interactions of the brain and the nervous system. It doesn't even have to be about science. I can talk to you about the American Revolution and Civil War, art and music from the Renaissance (I'm very cultured), the economic principle of supply and demand, or even greek mythology. And if you want, I will speak it to you in french.

2. I'm an angel. I'm the nicest, sweetest person around. I never think of myself. I always put others before me. And I'm probably the most humble person you'll ever meet. I'd like to quote (with some alterations to fit me) part of a song by Mac Davis:

Oh [man] it's hard to be humble
when you're perfect in every way.
I can't wait to look in the mirror
cause I get better looking each day.
To know me is to love me
I must be a [heck] of a [girl].
Oh [man] it's hard to be humble
but I'm doing the best that I can.

I'm just so sweet. Everyone wants to be around me. Nobody has any complaints about me. Why would they? It's like the prince says in the movie Enchanted when asked if he likes himself, "What's not to like?". Seriously. I always do what I'm asked. And I do it all with a smile. I shoot sunshine from my fingers and toes. I'm also considerate. I open doors for old people and help them cross the street while carrying their groceries in one hand and holding off traffic with the other.

3. I'm hilarious. I have the sense of humor of a mule. And in case you didn't know, mules have a terrific sense of humor. Brian Regan made that very clear. I make everyone around me laugh. I sprinkle laughter all around like it was fairy dust. My aptly placed movie quotes always bring smiles and chuckles. What can I say? It's a gift. I've been asked to appear on a number of talk shows and in comedy clubs. I was even offered a job as a full-time cast member on SNL. I only turned it down so that I could have more time working with underpriveleged children in third world countries.

I'm sure most of you are aware I could go on about my awesomeness, but I don't want you to feel pressured to be more than you are. Afterall, I really am one of a kind. It really is amazing how so much talent, intelligence, and humor can fit into such a tiny, adorable person. But there you have it. I'm AWESOME.

I Miss Back When...

Do you ever wish you were younger? I don't mean in the sense that you want fewer wrinkles, or more energy. I mean the days when all you had to concern yourself with were grades (if that, haha) and well, that's pretty much it. I'm obviously not talking Jr. High, but younger than that. The days when recess meant going out to the playground, playing tag or movie freeze. When you just wanted to play tether ball and four square. The days when you would go on a class field trip to Cariollon Park and picnic outside the bell tower. Or dressing up for a field trip to go to the pioneer village and learn how life was like for them going to school. Let's not forget about the other important aspects of that age... cartoons. Do you miss getting ready for school and having 15 minutes or so to watch part of your show before running to catch the bus? Or coming home in the afternoon just in time to catch X-Men or Animaniacs? Then of course, there was Saturday morning. I also remember riding my back up and down the streets where we lived. Maybe these are all a little too specific to actually fit with some of you, but I think you get my idea. You know what else I miss? The holidays as a kid. Don't get me wrong, I still love the holidays as an adult, but you gotta admit the magic is kinda gone when you grow up. Maybe that's just me. And maybe it's because I'm kinda stuck in the middle; I'm not a little kid anymore, but I don't have my own kids either. I'm sure it's different when you're married with kids and are starting anew, just from a different angle. Right now though, I kinda miss being the kid.

When it comes to Thanksgiving, I miss being a kid and piling in the car to go to Grandma and Grandpa's where they would have the long tables all set up with white table clothes and candles and centerpieces. Grandma and Grandpa sat at the end closest to the kitchen and there were seat going all around for everyone in the family. Then the pool table at the other end of the table was covered and had all the desserts on it. There were all sorts of pies and goodies. We of course always had a blessing before eating, and it was always funny to me the difference in the prayers when someone from my family offered it versus when someone else said it. Always good though. I'm not sure if this is entirely accurate, but I recall usually having something with our name on it at our seat. I think I can remember switching those around a little sometimes... It's been a while since I've had Thanksgiving with the family and even longer since it used to be like that. I also have memories from when I was like 7 or something and driving around the little play cars they had or bouncing on this giant orangish/brown ball after the tables and chairs were cleared away. Good times.

Can't forget about Christmas. My heart would always be racing with anticipation as I tried to fall asleep. This was back when I believed in Santa. I know some parents don't even pretend there's a Santa; their kids always know that it's them. I think that just takes away from the magic they could otherwise experience as a kid. Obviously, the main message of Christmas should still be about Christ, but I see no harm in allowing the fascination that comes from Santa. Anyway. I remember waking up Christmas morning, which wasn't as early as you might think. I don't know that I ever actually woke up before 7am. I remember coming out of my room and checking my parents' room and my siblings rooms if they weren't already up. Then Mom and Dad would go downstairs to "get everything ready". They would turn on the Christmas lights, Dad usually turned on some Mo-Tab Christmas music, and they would be ready with the video recorder and camera. Meanwhile, us kids would be anxiously waiting at the top of the stairs. Most of my clear memories are from living at our house on Kilkenny, so we could see the stockings hanging up on the banister down the stairs. When Mom and Dad finally said we could come down, we would hop down the stairs (some of us wrapped in blankets... usually Dave) going youngest to oldest. By the time we got to the bottom of the stairs, we could see the white tree to the left in the living room. We'd head over to the tree and of course we had "our spots". They may have altered a little bit over the years when there was furniture movement or whatever, but pretty much stayed the same. Dad would be the one to hand out presents and when we were done we usually headed over to the family Christmas tree in the family room where we had our sibling gifts. Then of course it was time for breakfast. Later we got to go to Grandma and Grandpa's. All the presents from them would be stacked up in front of the fireplace next to their ginormous Christmas tree. There would be all sorts of food in the kitchen; it was always just go for it when you're hungry. Nothing fancy. Then we'd all gather to open presents. I can go further back than that though. Back when I was 7/8 I remember Santa coming. We would all be downstairs and Santa would come. He would call all the grandkids' names, we'd sit on his lap and he'd give us a present. Good times. I could go on with holidays and reminisce about Easter and flying kites, but I think I'll forgo that.

While there's a lot about being a kid that I'm glad is over, there are still things I miss about the simplistic lifestyle. Life is just gonna get harder, isn't it? I wonder though, are we the reason our lives become so complex? Do they really have to be as complicated as we make them out to be? Obviously there are some things they will get harder and more complex that are beyond our control, but maybe we complicate things that don't really need to be so complicated. Oh well, that's another direction entirely. This just shows that we should enjoy each part of our life, cuz eventually we'll be moving on to somewhere new.

My How Time Flies...

So I'm thinking maybe it's time for an update. Based on the fact that I haven't written anything since January I'm sure you can imagine there's been quite a lot that's happened. I guess I'll start off by saying I no longer work for that stupid doctor. He decided to "let me go" back in May. He said he felt like there was nothing else he could do to motivate me. He even admitted though that I had been doing better lately, with whatever it was exactly he was having problems with. Mind you, he never even hinted to me that he was having problems with me. We were getting ready to transition to working for Central Utah Clinic at which time he would no longer be in charge of hiring/firing. He clearly didn't like me as a person so he fired me just before the transition. What a jerk face! I must admit it came as quite a shock, but it was probably for the best since I absolutely loathed that job and may not have had the guts to quit when I should have. As if that didn't tick me off enough though, when I was trying to get unemployment to help out while I was looking for a new job, I heard from the unemployment office that he claimed I was a horrible employee. He and our office manager Lindsey (my "friend" whom I went to Paris with) said I rolled my eyes when asked to do something, I didn't help my coworker who were apparently complaining about me, and they said patients were complaining about me. Whatever! Patients loved me! I may not have loved everything I had to do, but I faked it and I faked it well! Dude, talk about slander. I almost started crying on the phone w/ the unemployment lady as she was telling me all this. I told her my side of the story and how I felt under-appreciated. I called back later to let her know I could bring in a copy of my letter of recommendation he had written for me, which totally contradicted anything he told them but she had already deemed my story more credible than his. Loser. Oh well, that's all in the past now and I never have to deal with him or that office again.

Eventually I did get a new job. Just last month my friend Ann, whom had recently come back out to Provo after getting home from her mission, announced she was planning on moving to NM and that I could apply for her job as a security receptionist at this company called ModusLink down in Spanish Fork. So she told her boss, Ben, about me and he really wanted to meet me so I went and interviewed with him and his boss, Sterling. I got the job a couple days later. Let me tell you something, God has everything timed just right. He waited until the very last minute, but it worked out beautifully. I got the job literally days before I was supposed to be kicked out of my apt. I was preparing to move in w/ Sis.Darrington, whom I knew growing up back home. She lived down in Springville, which was about 15-20 minutes from Provo and all my friends. She also had 2 dogs and a cat. Those who know me know I do NOT like pets. I particularly get very uncomfortable around dogs. Heck, I almost started crying when I went down to visit her and the dogs were getting all up in my groove. I was grateful she was willing to let me live there, but it was so not what I wanted to do. Then I got this job and I was able to afford to stay at my apt. Heavenly Father was totally looking out for me and knew exactly what I needed. I even get paid more! So I just work at the front desk and basically check people's badges as they come in, as can be seen in this comic:



I also make ID badges and help with process instructions, incident reports, and other little fun projects that you probably don't know anything about, nor do you really care. I don't blame you, hahaha. While it may not be the most exciting job, it's 10x better than the one I had before. I work with amazing people, which to me is more important than the job itself. My boss Ben has become a really good friend. He's pretty much amazing. That's definitely new. I've also become friends with a couple of the other guys working in security. I also know people in other departments who are really nice. I didn't realize how bad my last job was until I started working here. I used to wake up absolutely dreading having to go to work and now I don't mind so much. Funny how something as bad as being fired can end up being one of the best things to happen to you.

I have a lot of "down time" which comes in handy since I'm studying to take the GRE in November. Hopefully then I'll be able to start some grad school applications and make it there next fall. I don't really remember making the decision on what I wanted to study in grad school, but I found myself drawing up a nice little outline of different schools and looking at Masters/PhD programs in physiology, with a possible emphasis in neuroscience. I don't remember making the decision, but I've apparently decided to go on to grad school so that I can teach at a University of sorts and do my own research. It scares me to death, but it feels more right than anything else I can think of. I would love to go to Ohio State, though their programs of interest for me only offer a PhD; some of which take 4-5 years. My second choice is probably Cinci. They seem to have some good programs and even have a masters in physiology with a teaching option for those wanting to go into teaching. Then there's possibly Wright State, though I confess I don't feel too thrilled about that one. All these though would enable me to go back to Ohio, land of the Awesome. I've also looked at Miami Ohio, Northwestern (haha, yeah right), UNLV (random, I know) and BYU. I guess we'll just have to wait and see.

Anyway, I think I’ve rambled on about my life long enough. I’m surprised some of you are actually still reading this. You must’ve just skipped down to the end. Anyway, in a nutshell, life is pretty good right now. I have a plan I’m working towards and I’m sure it’ll get messed up and changed, but one thing at a time people!

Physiology: Heartache, Faith, and Fear

Have you ever wondered why emotions have such a strong effect on your heart? After all, the heart is just another organ like the stomach or liver, right? No exactly. I’ve been wondering what the deal is with the heart. I mean, why is it the symbol of love and why is there actual physical pain there when you’re stressed, depressed or in all other respects, unhappy? And why at the same time do happy, exciting feelings also cause the heart to do weird things physically? I can’t say I’ve had recent feelings or emotions to trigger these questions, but I’ve experienced the oddities of the heart just like everyone else in times of stress and happiness, so I decided to figure out what the deal is. You look everywhere and you find all sorts of things about heartache and broken hearts. They’re usually talking about the emotional pain more so than the physical pain that can sometimes accompany it. But I find the physiological manifestations of emotions interesting. So, I’ve done some research and here’s what I’ve found.

Time for the nerd part of me to shine… There are actually quite some strong ties between the brain and the heart. Our emotions cause the brain to tell the heart what’s going on and then the heart responds in complex ways. When we’re stressed, anxious, or angry our heart patterns are more irregular and crazy. This is generally not good for the heart, physically or otherwise. The brain then recognizes these patterns as negative… duh. These negative emotions seem to start a chain reaction in the body. First they cause those irregular beats we feel, but they also raise stress hormones, constrict blood vessels, raise blood pressure and weaken the immune system. Of course the first place we notice any physical discomfort to these emotions is the heart. Our brain is basically sending chemical signals, which can weaken heart tissue. There are hormones like cortisol, which are released during times of stress by the adrenal cortex. The adrenal cortex is part of the adrenal gland, which sits on top of the kidneys. The king of these regulations though is the anterior pituitary of the brain. This is where hormones like corticotropin (ACTH) are secreted. ACTH then stimulates the secretion of cortisol by the adrenal cortex. I’m sure that’s more information than you really cared to know. You knew what I was before you started reading this, so none of this “Oh my gosh, she’s a nerd!” stuff. Anyway, back to business. Opposite of that would be those feelings of overwhelming happiness, excitement, the ‘butterflies’ etc. These emotions cause the heart to beat more smoothly.

All this jazz I’ve just rambled on about is associated with something called broken heart syndrome. Like I was saying, it’s an actual, physical heart condition temporarily brought on by stressful situations. Part of the heart even temporarily enlarges. Crazy, huh? Granted, the actual broken heart syndrome is usually reserved for really severe events. But I think the physiology behind still applies, even if the effects aren’t as severe as in the actual condition. I think most of us can vouch that being stressed or unhappy is physically draining. Despite all the information and knowing that there are physiological things happening to you when you’re sad, there is really no way to make it just stop in it’s tracks. At least I haven’t quite figured that one out. It takes time for your body to catch up with your new mindset.

So, I went to the BYU forum once that had an old professor of mine (Dr. Bell) whom I really liked. He talked about the physiology of faith and fear. It was a really awesome forum. I figure it kinda ties in with what I’ve talked about and is pretty interesting so here’s a little about that-

You know how when you get scared you feel your heart start racing and you breath in a lot deeper? Well, there are physiological reasons for that. Again it involved the hypothalamus sending signals all over the place and this causes an increase in blood pressure, blood sugar levels rise, the liver and muscles release sugar to be used as energy to fuel the muscles, blood vessels contract, and the lungs dilate. This helps you get away if there is the fear of physical danger. It’s part of the autonomic nervous system, which means it’s something that happens and you don’t even have to think about it. Your mind and body are that good. Pretty cool stuff I think. When we’re afraid our bodies release the stress hormone cortisol, yet again. This stuff saves our lives though. We would not be able to survive without cortisol. Well, I suppose technically we could just so long as we never get hungry, scared, sick, or stressed in anyway. If you live that kind of life style let me know what the heck you’re doing.

So basically our fear can keep us alive. It causes the release of cortisol to help us cope with our stressors. But fear is not always acute, or in other words a temporary state to escape rational danger. Dr. Bell talked about all of our irrational fears that we constantly carry with us. The fear of failure, responsibility, embarrassment, public speaking, etc. are all irrational fears, which can inhibit our progress in this life. Our fear causes us to sacrifice our potential for the mediocre.

We all have pains, sorrows, and trial in this life. That culminates half the definition of life. The other half though is joy, service, and love. The Lord has given us bodies that can physically feel emotional pain. I think in a way this helps us better understand what we’re going through and then the ability to empathize with others. Our bodies have also been designed to protect us from overwhelming and even dangerous situations. You gotta admit, God knew what he was doing when he designed/created our bodies to help us make it through this mortal life. Our bodies however don't control us. We can choose faith over fear. We can choose to work to dispel stress and heartache rather than living with it as a constant companion. I wonder if we’ll still have an autonomic nervous system and adrenal glands in the next life… Anyway, I figured I’d leave you with a transitional set of quotes. Think about it.

Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it's better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.
-- Author Unknown

The turning point in the process of growing up is when you discover the core of strength within you that survives all hurt.
-- Max Lerner, The Unfinished Country, 1950

I thought when love for you died, I should die. It's dead. Alone, most strangely, I live on.
-- Rupert Brooke

[A] final comfort that is small, but not cold: The heart is the only broken instrument that works.
-- T.E. Kalem

“You block your dream when you allow your fear to grow bigger than your faith.”
- Mary Manin Morrissey

"Fear imprisons, faith liberates; fear paralyzes, faith empowers; fear disheartens, faith encourages; fear sickens, faith heals; fear makes useless, faith makes serviceable."
- Harry Emerson Fosdick

“Live by faith and not by fear.”
- Elder Quentin L. Cook

“As children of our Heavenly Father, we should learn to be happy, to trust in Him, and to not be afraid.”
- President James E. Faust

Paris

So you may or may not know (probably do) that I recently went to Paris. Crazy, huh? It came about when a couple months ago I felt in a bit of a rut and wanted to do something new. I'm done with school (for now) and have just been working. Talk about boring. Anyway, I thought, "Hey, I've always wanted to travel, why not plan a trip?". So I started looking into different places to travel including Paris, Italy, Germany, London, Dublin, etc. I was looking at plane tickets and hotels. I figured I'd probably go in March sometime that way I could have plenty of time to plan, get my ticket, and save more money. Well, when I went to work I told my coworkers Lindsey and Megan that I was planning a trip to Europe somewhere. They seemed to think that was cool and wanted to do it with me. Being 3 of 4 people working at the Dr.'s office though we couldn't all take off work at the same time while we were seeing patients. So, after we decided that Paris was where we wanted to go we decided to do it the last week of October. The Dr. was going to be out of the office that week anyway. It was like the first week of September while we were deciding this. So the first thing we did was buy the Paris Pass, which gave us free range over the metro, buses, and the RER within central Paris. It also gave us access to pretty much every museum and places of interest we wanted to go to. Then we got our passports taken care of, our plane tickets, and the hotel. Needless to say it was a lot of work trying to get everything planned with just 6 weeks to do so. But then the time came and we went.

We left on Oct. 23 (Fri.) and came back Oct. 31 (Sat.). So we spent time in Paris for 6 full days. We didn't get into Paris until the late morning of the 24th. It was a looong flight- about 10 1/2 hours. It was mostly dark during the whole flight there. So we took a taxi to our hotel and then headed out to check out Paris. It was raining, we were tired, and it took forever to find the double decker bus we were looking for. The bus was a waste of money but whatever. Needless to say our first day there wasn't that pleasant. But we did get some cool pics by the Eiffel Tower.

Sunday morning Lindsey and I tried to go to a sacrament meeting. We had directions and the address but it took longer to get there than we planned for. We found the street it was on and could tell it would still be a long walk to get there and we probably missed sacrament anyway so we left. Oh well, you get points for trying, right? Anyway, that day we went and saw Notre Dame, which was totally awesome. We heard the bells too. We went down into the crypts there too and saw old pre-Roman building remains. We went into Notre Dame to see the cathedral. There was actually mass going on too. Weird. It was a beautiful building though. Then we went out to get in line to be able to climb to the top. While we were in line there was this guy wearing a creepy old man mask going around freaking people out. He was an entertainer of some sort. He would just go up to people when they weren't looking at put his arm around them or pop his head right in front of them and get them to freak and scream. He would just go up and down the street doing that. It kept us entertained for a good half hour. But then we got in and climbed over 400 spiral stairs to the top of Notre Dame. Amazing view. We also went to Saint Chapelle. Pretty cool cathedral with amazing stained glass. The upstairs had a whole long wall that was just stained glass. Later that night we also went to the Arc de Triomphe to see it lit up at night. There were a good 300 stairs there. We also saw the tomb of the unknown soldier lit up. Cool stuff.


Notre Dame

The next couple days kinda blend in... At some point we went and saw the Rodin museum where the Thinking Man statue is. The gardens there were absolutely beautiful. I love gardens and landscape stuff. Right after Rodin we went over to Napoleon's tomb. Also cool. His tomb was freaking huge. There were others of his family buried there too. We also went to the Tomb of the Kings. We saw there Marie Antoinette, King Louis XVI and Louis XVII's heart. Yeah, his heart is in this vase thing. But you can't really get anywhere near it. Coming back from the tomb though we had an interesting event occur on the metro. Firstly, apparently that area up north is not a good area and we probably shouldn't have gone. Anyway, on the metro on the way back to our area we witnessed a mugging. There was this young black guy standing next to me on the metro and there was another lady by us. When the metro stopped and the doors opened the guy grabbed this lady's purse and pulled her off the metro. The doors were still open and people were trying to get off and there were these kids crying out for their mom who it looked like had gotten caught in the crossfire so to speak and got pushed off and was on the ground. The one lady wouldn't let go of her purse and was trying to punch him in the face. He just had this weird grin on his face. Then this other dude came around and just put him in a choke hold and pinned him to the ground. The lady went over and kicked him in the face. He somehow got up and tried to run but then got tackled again and pinned to wait for the police to come get him. Then the doors finally closed and we continued on our way. We got off and were by Notre Dame and decided to sit down on the benches and say a little prayer. We had all been a little shaken by that and were just grateful it didn't happen to one of us. As soon as we finished we felt a wave of relief come. We ate our little lunch and got up to continue to where we were going. We hadn't even taken 10 steps when we saw 2 LDS missionaries walk by. We stopped them to say hi and one of them was there on his first day and he was from Salt Lake. Crazy! The other one was from southern France and spoke good English. We just chatted for a couple minutes then went on our way. It's hard to explain how cool that was to see them. I seriously feel that Heavenly Father put them in our way just to reassure us that He was watching out for us and that He would always be there. There's just too much there for me to think that could've just been coincidence.
Anway, on with the trip. We also saw the Conciergerie where Marie Antoinette was imprisoned before she was guillotined. Cool stuff. We also got to go to the Grevin Wax Museum. Pretty awesome stuff. They were pretty life-like figures. We saw Arnold Schwartzenager, Elton John, Michael Jackson (he was creepy...), Jackie Chan, Indian Jones, and Elvis. We also went to Hard Rock Cafe in Paris. Good ole American food and music! One of the waiters there came and chatted with us for a little talking about America and his couple trips there and what not. He called us his American sisters. He was one of the nice Frenchies.



Wednesday we went to the Place de la Concorde, which was just the open square where Marie Antoinette and Louis XVI were guillotined. Pretty cool stuff. They didn't have an actual marker though on where it happend. But we were there. Then we went and saw the Opera Garnier, the grand opera house. That's where the phantom did his original haunting. It was such an amazing building. Garnier, the designer, had some good taste. Chandeliers, marble stairs, golden trimmed balconies, you name it. That afternoon we went to the Louvre. It had crazy organization. We just walked wherever. We saw a bunch of Roman/Greek statues, Renaissance paintings, and what not. We saw the most famous stuff like Venus de Milo, Mona Lisa, and Nike the winged victory statue, which was probably my favorite. I already heard the Mona Lisa would be disappointing and so I was prepared for that. It's like a tiny 8x11 framed picture and I think you couldn't get any closer than like 15 feet and there were a million people all around. It was a pretty exhausting day. Opera Garnier


Winged Victory

So, Thursday we went to the Aquarium. Fish are cool. There wasn't really anything there I hadn't seen before. Still cool, but nothing new. We did some souvenir shopping and then went to the Eiffel Tower later in the afternoon. We got through the long line while listening to Rascal Flatts on Lindsey's phone. All American music. We took the elevator to the very top. It was a long elevator ride. It was going pretty fast and it still took a few minutes to get there. There was a cool view. It's a 360 area and we found the spot with the little American flag to show which direction the US was. On our way back down they had lit up the Eiffel Tower for the night. It was cool. Once we were off and headed back to our hotel they started shooting fireworks of some kind or something. We turn back to look and there are these white lights flashing all around the tower. It looked like white fireworks going off all around it. It was pretty awesome.

Friday was our last full day and we spent it at Versailles. The castle was amazing. There were like a million rooms and long halls with statues on both sides. We saw the Hall of Mirrors, which had chandeliers all down the hall and then mirrors on the one side making it look like twice the amount of gold and chandeliers. It was pretty awesome. Then we went outside, saw the gardens and took a little tram around to see more of the grounds and to visit Marie Antoinette's Estate. Her estate was huge. It had ponds, trees everywhere, pathways going every which way and a little closed up like gazebo which was used to play music there. It was frickin' freazing, but still amazing. I loved it because like I said I like gardens and grounds with trees and ponds and what not.

So Saturday morning we got up early, went to the airport, and flew home. We were all ready to get back to America. Paris was cool and all and it was a great experience, but God Bless America. I was so happy and pround to land in the US and see the flag waving. So there you have it. My Parisian experience.

You Win Some, You Lose Some

As I'm sure you're all aware, I am a huge Ohio State fan. I bleed scarlet for my Buckeyes. If you follow football at all, you're also aware that we ran into a defeat yesterday playing the USC Trojans. Needless to say I was very disappointed. I was very nervous going into the game... maybe not as much as the players themselves, but pretty dang close. But then things were going our way for the longest time. We were ahead by the end of the first quarter, tied by half time, and then were up again for most of the second half up until the last couple minutes. Needless to say, it was a pretty intense game. I'm still so proud of my Buckeyes though. Most people didn't think we even stood a chance against the Trojans based on our loss last season and our only slight win over Navy last week. A victory over the Trojans would have commanded respect for the Buckeyes as well as the Big Ten. Alas, we barely missed the mark. I'd like to think however, that the performance of the game has almost as much baring as the score itself. We made the Trojans work for their points. We proved to them and hopefully to the rest of country that we are a formidable opponent. We lost to a higher ranked team, but we gave them a run for their money. As a true Buckeye, I must say that win or lose, the Buckeyes are still my team. To be a true fan of any team you must support them no matter how they play or what the scores are. Even though we lost based on point score, we won in the fact that we played an excellent game. We had a great defense and offense. Not everything was perfect and not everything went our way, obviously, but we still played an amazing game (even though I was ready to throw up at the end, lol). We are still a force to be reckoned with. And there are still many teams and games to play that will test that. GO BUCKS!

Can You Read My Mind?

So, my last day working at the library a little over a week ago I got to talking with my co-worker, Amber. It was such an interesting conversation (at least for us singles) and thought I'd share.

It seems relatively common to find really awesome girls that are still single, trying to make it here in Provo. I'm not including or excluding myself from this category. I'm just making an observation. Anyway, why aren't these girls getting asked out and what do they do about it? Well, this blog would probably most useful for those single guys out there that may not always have the confidence to ask a girl out because I'm going to let you in on what's going through a girl's mind.

So first thing's first. Why is it that there are so many pretty, funny, smart girls not getting asked out? Well, that kind of goes along with what girls tell themselves when they're not getting asked out because there could be a million and one reasons why they're not actually going out. One I've heard is that guys look at them and think "They're too pretty; they would never go out with me." Or, "She's probably already taken". While that may be true, here's a list of the things girls tell themselves when they find they're not getting asked out very often. How ever sad it may seem, it's true-

1. "It's because I deserve better." While it is very possible the girl deserves an amazing guy, it doesn't really explain why she's not getting asked out at all. She tells herself this in order to make herself feel better.

2. "It's just not my time." We sometimes take a religious perspective here in Provo and feel that maybe it's not our time to get married, which is why we're not even getting asked out. Yeah, that doesn't really make a whole lot of sense especially since we're supposed to be dating a lot to find someone we could marry. Another attempt to comfort ourselves.

3. "The Lord is still preparing him." This is probably one of my favorites. It goes back to the days of Young Womens when our leaders would frequently ask us to make lists of the traits we want in a future husband. Yes guys, we really did do that. So we'll tell ourselves the Lord is still putting the finishing touches on our future spouse because we're already ready and he's not. Yeah, again doesn't really make sense. We women have a lot to work on too but that doesn't stop most of us from getting married, which it shouldn't. Likewise I don't think we're waiting for "that one special guy" to be ready to marry us. Not likely. When we're ready to get married, we'll just find another guy who's also ready.

4. "It's ok; I'm happy being single." You should be happy to be single... but that doesn't mean you should stop hoping for a future with someone. And chances are you haven't actually stopped; you just try and accept your life as it is. You tell yourself single life isn't so bad even though deep down you feel life could be better if you had someone to share it with. It's like in the movie Hitch, "No woman wakes up saying 'I hope I don't get swept off my feet today!'" Basically, we all want it, but admitting it would mean (to us) we don't have everything we want and there's not much we can do about it right now.

Another movie reference I'd like to make pertains to the movie "He's just not that into you". A partly decent film, this movie made reference to what girls tell themselves when they find themselves dumped and single. Girls have been taught from a young age to lie to themselves about guys to make themselves feel better about their situation. Sometimes these supposed lies are actually truths, but for the most part, they're not. I hate to be the one to say it, but it's true.

Guys think that the "pretty" girls are probably getting asked out all the time and that they must have this fabulous self confidence and what not. Well, guess what guys? Not always true! You'll find very often quite the opposite. It's these pretty girls that have a lower (not necessarily a depressing low, but fragile) self esteem. I can't say all pretty girls are waiting to be asked out, but it's not as uncommon as you might think. Bottom line, it's ok to ask the pretty girls out, even if you guys may think she's not interested. If you don't have any reason to think she wouldn't like you other than that she's pretty, how do you know she doesn't really like you? You don't know. Again, I'm not trying to put myself into this category, it was just a fun conversation I had with a friend. I've seen it many times happen to my friends and thought it was worth writing. Anyway. Those are my thoughts for the day. You single guys should really think about it. I just opened the door to a girls mind for you. Use this knowledge wisely. Peace out~

Destined to Seek, Destined to Know

So it's about time I updated everyone as to the situation of my life. First I shall inform you that I am officially done with classes! That's right, next stop: graduation. Graduation is August 13/14 and I will be among those students that have endured so much in our studies of the life sciences. I'm pretty stoked. It hasn't completely sunk in yet though. It kinda feels like when I graduated high school. Like this, "Yay, but I have more to do" kind of feeling. I'm actually growing up though. That leads me to me next set of good news- I got a job! Huzzah! I've been waiting for a few weeks to be officially offered the job, which I have now been given.
I'm going to be an ophthalmic medical assistant! I will work as a tech in a private ophthalmologist clinic basically helping him with diagnostic and treatment-type procedures. Under his direction I'll also write out prescriptions. I also will be rotating with the other techs doing the front desk work, so I'll also help with filing, doing co pays, appointment reminders/scheduling etc. I also have to keep up with studying... so I'm not done yet, lol. I have to do special chapter readings each week to help get me acquainted with everything and to help prepare me for my certification exam, which I will have to take. I believe after I get in about 180 hours I need to take an exam to make me a COA (certified ophthalmic assistant). Fortunately the doctor I will be working for will be my sponser for the test and be paying for it, which is about $300. So, thank goodness for that! So I go in on Monday for training and will continue training this coming week. I'll then be going home for 2 weeks and Dr. Donaldson said I can just come on in as soon as I get back. I still have a job on campus at the library, so I've been given the option to turn them into 2 part time jobs, which is what I'll probably do. I like the library and I think it'll be good for me to make the transition a little smoother. So I'll do that until I officially graduate in August and then I'll be full time with the ophthalmologist. So there's my fabulous news!
I also have moved into a different apartment. And can I just say I have amazing friends? You don't even know. I got several of my bestest friends ever to help me. No complaints and no trouble. They were just there. Brett, Janille, Eric, Scott, and Adam are amazing people and I bet you wish they were your friends too. Don't worry, I still like you too. Anyway. It's still in the same ward, just different apartment. I was just needing a change and this way I have my own room and am living with just one other girl, who is really cool. It's working out pretty well. It's only for the summer though. I'll be figuring out my salary this coming week so that'll give me a good idea of my price range for apartments. I'm hoping it'll pay enough so that I can move in to my own apartment. I've put my name on the list for a place where my friends Brett and Janille live, which would be totally awesome. And if not, it's ok. I know I'll be looked out for one way or the other.
So, yeah. I think that pretty much sums it up! I am a greatly blessed individual and I completely recognize that. Love and hugs to all my friends. Love and hugs to my family too-- can't wait to see everyone in a week!! :)