Special Valentine's Day Thoughts

So, on this Valentine's Day holiday I thought I would write a special blog. I shall introduce you to my own thoughts about love while also giving my opinion on the whole dating scene, with special attention to life out here in Provo as a BYU student

Let me ask you this, do you find a difference between the two phrases, "I'm falling in love" and "I'm in love"? It's been my experience that most people do not differentiate between the two. I find this a crucial flaw in one's perception of love. The word 'falling' is an active participle... meaning you are actively falling in love, but also that you have not quite reached the level of actually BEING in love. There is also a difference between love and infatuation. This seems pretty obvious off hand, but I think infatuation is too often mistaken for love. Infatuation is usually short-lived and isn't a deep feeling, though it may feel like it is. It's just a crush. Crushes are something you have on people you don't really know, as in REALLY know. You don't really know someone until you see their flaws and shortcomings, which everbody has. When you have a crush on someone, that individual seems flawless; that may be why you seem to be so attracted to them. I quote Robin Williams in the movie Good Will Hunting: "You're not perfect sport, and let me save you the suspense, this girl you've met she's not perfect either. But the question is whether or not you're perfect for each other." Especially her at BYU I think too many people rush into marriage thinking because they're "in love" life will be peaches and cream. For those unfamiliar with the BYU stereotype (which I've seen supported in many instances) the joke is people get engaged after only dating for like a week. I don't get that. I don't think you can honestly say you love someone so quickly. You haven't had enough time to get through the "falling in love" process to reach the ultimate. Marriage is a very sacred, special union between two people. It should not be taken lightly. It's not just "the next step" or something you do because you're having so much fun with this person. Marriage is the new and everlasting covenant. I think that because of all the talk and pressure of dating out here too often do you find people, especially girls, who think of nothing else but finding Mr. Right. They're already planning their wedding. That just indicates another mistake to me... so many girls are wanting a wedding, not a marriage. They don't seem to realize that they'll be with this person for the long haul, through the best of times and the worst of times. They're in love with the idea... not necessarily the man (or woman in the guys' case). This is of course a generalization; I don't mean to say nobody know what they're doing when they get married. That would be unfair.

Now, let me say this is not meant to be a bitter or cynical blog. In fact, I think it's quite the opposite. I'm trying to express how I hold love and marriage with the highest regards. It's because I respect marriage and love so much that I'm defending them against those who take them too lightly. I feel it is important to distinguish between our feelings of infatuation and those of true love. To me, being able to say "I love you" means you know that person, their flaws, quirks and special personality traits, their pet peeves, things they absolutely hate, their hobbies, and that person makes you want to be better. They respect you. They make you want to give your all and that by doing so you'll be the happiest you've ever been. Love means you put their happiness before your own, but the two usually coincide anyway. You make each other genuinely happy. Now, realize this is all coming from a girl who hasn't even been close to getting married. This is just my perception.

I think it is also important to recognize that there is no "one person". I now quote Sense and Sensibility, "It is bewitching the idea that one's happiness depends entirely on one person." When you can realize this you won't get so freaked out about "what if I miss him?" and "what if that was my only chance?" Also, we as ladies need to recognize that being single doesn't mean you're an incomplete person. In fact, you have to figure out who you are and become that complete person before you can find happiness with someone else. I hate the line from Jerry Magurie that says "You complete me." Absolutely ridiculous. A marriage is two whole people becoming one, not two halves making a whole.

Anyway, I think I've spoken my peace on the subject. As an end to my thoughts, I'd like to list just a few of my favorite love quotes. Happy Valentine's Day friends and family! Love you all!

"You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her."- Anonymous

"Love is an irresistible desire, to be irresisitibly desired."- Robert Frost

"The greatest happiness in life is the conviction that we are loved- loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves."- Victor Hugo

"You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams."- Dr. Seuss

"Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one who makes your heart smile."- Anonymous

"I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you." - Roy Croft

"Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own."- Robert Heinlein

"Life has taught us that love does not consist in gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction."- Antoine de Saint-Exupery

"Love is friendship set on fire."- Jeremy Taylor

"Choose your love, love your choice."- Thomas S. Monson

"True love is not so much a matter of romance as it is a matter of anxious concern for the well being of one's companion."- Gordon B. Hinckley